Thursday, July 30, 2009

thinking too much. much too much.

Um, I am pretty lame at keeping a blog. I might be teetering dangerously close to abandoning ship or just using said ship as a photo meme place. Sigh. So many words to come up with. I really only have a dozen or so that clink back and forth in my head, none of which could complete an entire paragraph. Most of my life I've been horribly shy. Challenging myself to do things, THINGS that make me talk or connect with people I don't know well or at all is a struggle. When I gave birth to my daughter, I wanted to hold on to that feeling of accomplishment. I swore that it would give me the confidence to do wonderful things that I normally wouldn't do. Talking to a stranger should be pie after having a natural childbirth. WRITING ON THE INTERNET should be pie. And yet, it almost causes me more anxiety. Blogging where people can read and see what you've written is SCARY. I don't consider myself a writer. I don't spin words into beautifully written stories. When talking to a stranger, you are able to visibly see how they feel about what you are saying. You know you have an audience. I don't know what's more intimidating, the idea of people reading my words or typing for no one.


  1. This no one hopes that you keep it up. I enjoy cruising the tippytoe. You are also outstanding in the micro-blogging/twitter department.

    Type on!

  2. I hope you keep it up. I think you are interesting and charming and I would hope that with time you would gain comfort and find your voice so that you could really enjoy your blog, because really - life is hard enough, we don't need to add to our own stress.
    I have 2 blogs. One where I spill my heart and control who can see it and one where I do not. This was the balance that I found that made me happy. I think we all have different comfort zones, I hope you find yours :)

  3. I have totally felt this same way when I first began. In fact, I blogged about how intimidated I was with reading other blogs and it made it difficult for me to write. And then I just let it all go, and now I just write. I don't think too much about it. You are great at this, I always look forward to your postings, hoping you do it more!

    btw- I just started a couple of months ago. :)

  4. I love your blog. You already know this, but I have been doing this for YEARS. Years. And if I don't blog for a few days in a row? I have a really hard time doing it again and want to quit. I wrote three blog posts just now and saved the first two as drafts and then finally published the third one because the first two were lame. Anyway, all of that to say that I think you are a really cool person with a unique perspective and you are very very smart. I hope you don't abandon this pretty ship. Oh! Also? A lot of really great bloggers are the ones who are shy in real life. Seriously. I have never read so many posts about panic attacks as in the days after BlogHer when everyone admitted they were hiding in their hotel rooms crying half the time.